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Few Facts on Samuel Blankson Books
Samuel Blankson has been born and raised in Ghana, an
underdeveloped country in West Africa. He proved himself to be
an extremely good entrepreneur. He showed the first signs of
being special at a very early age when he started reading,
actually...
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Five Principals for Prosperity
Many years ago, forty to be exact, I started my own business at the tender age of nineteen. The street markets in and around Manchester England was my happy hunting ground. Every day was an adventure and despite the weather and difficulties of...
Top 10 Ways Managing Your Money Is Just Like Riding a Bike
An avid cyclist and bike racing fan, I sit transfixed during the many hours of Tour de France coverage every July when the race rolls around. This year, during some of the less-than-scintillating early miles of the sprint stages, my mind wandered a...
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Work-from-home Office Policies
It has come to our attention that self-employed people have somehow escaped the burden of "office policies". No longer. Now even work-from-home hermits can revel in the burden of "office policies." (This is part three of a series that began...
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Two Leadership Strategies: Don’t Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach
Don’t Lose Your Mind
Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under a ton of pressure? Are you trying too hard to make something work and focusing too much on trying to fulfill other people’s needs and expectations? You may have “lost your mind!”
My small still voice often speaks to me in cryptic one-liners. I’ll never forget the first time I heard the quiet whisper, “You’ve lost your mind.” And no, I had not lost my mind through hearing strange voices! Rather, this cryptic one-liner was reminding me I was trying too hard to fulfill other people’s expectations and solve their problems.
This cryptic statement harkened back to an article I had read by Management Consultant, Barry Oshry. This article referred to Middle Managers who begin their careers as healthy humans but in time become confused, weak, powerless and self-doubting as they slide into the ‘Middle Space’ becoming torn between demands from the people Above and Below… hence “losing their mind.”
At that time I had taken on a new contract to facilitate a six week “Leadership” series for a local college. In my anxiety to do a good job I was trying too hard to emulate the program designer’s “superior knowledge” and trying hopelessly to solve the high-stress, workplace problems of the managers who were my participants. Of course, I knew I had the necessary skills and experience to facilitate this series yet, I had “lost my mind.”
Reconnect With Your God
Focusing on other’s needs and expectations removed me from my own knowledge and power. My stress elevated and my self-confidence plummeted. Thankfully, that gentle nudge of “you’ve lost your mind” helped me see how I was eroding myself through comparing myself and worrying about what other people thought, wanted or needed. This is our cue to stop, step back inside and reconnect with our own truth – our own God.
In doing this we step back into our own authenticity and own power. Here we can reformulate our own view, thoughts and perspectives on what is happening and what we need. We can let go of the guilt and self-doubt we feel in trying to meet other’s expectations or in trying to solve their
problems. We can relax and trust in our Higher Power always there for us.
Certainly, as leaders, managers, family members and humans we have a responsibility to listen and empathize with those in our close circle but it is not our job to solve their problems or fulfill their expectations… which is all a part of the coaching process. Rather than striving to give other people answers, everyone concerned is better served if we instead help others to reflect on their own solutions or options. This is what it means to be a coach.
Be a Coach
We can let people know we care about their situation and that we are willing to work with them to empower them to solve their own problem. We can listen, empathize and ask pertinent questions all of which encapsulates the art of coaching. After carefully listening to and empathizing with another’s problem you might consider asking some of the following questions if they seem appropriate:
“Have you ever had a similar situation in your life and found something that worked? What options do you have in this circumstance? That’s one possibility, any others? What outcome do you want? What really matters here? Would it help to break this into smaller steps? What do you need to change or to move this forward? What is standing in the way? What other people or resources could help you? What steps can you take from here? What will you do and by when? Would you like me to hold you accountable for your commitments?”
Be careful not to turn coaching into a probing session! Always be respectful and gentle with others and of course, yourself. Remember if you are feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence or you are trying too hard you may have “lost your mind.” Let go of comparing and trying to meet others expectations and needs. Trust yourself and be a coach!
About the Author
Teresa Proudlove is the publisher/editor of www.yourlifework.com: support and inspiration for your work and life. Teresa has been inspiring, supporting, and mentoring over 3000 people upon their lifework path for fourteen years, leading workshops and authoring many internationally published articles.
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